I'm healed and didn't know it.

I'm on my way to Miami, again, and boarding the plane I learned I'm no longer handicapped. Usually I'm allowed to board early due to my handicap. I don't board early because I feel i'm special due to my condition but because if I board a plane full of people, i'm going to knock half of them in the head with my elbow. So I got to my usual spot for people to board early, and the half English speaking lady told me I wasn't handicapped because I wasn't in a wheelchair. What the Fuck? I see a free plane ticket in my future after I write them a letter. Don't fly United.

Freaks

Every now and then, and I'm sure it happens to everyone, I'll meet a couple and they are both complete freaks. It makes me wonder if two freaks found each other, or did one convert the other?

Another Saturday at the DMV

I'm sitting at the DMV office for the second Saturday morning in a row. It's been a long battle the last two months and they've had their way with me a few times, but I really believe that after today the battle will be over. So I'll be a legal resident with a legally registered vehicle in the independent state of VA.
Saturday is the day parents bring their kids to the DMV to get their driver's licenses. I've noticed these last to Saturdays that I'm extremely bad at guessing people's ages, namely 16 year old girls. They look freakin 30. There are also 30 year old women here that look 16. I propose a new national law that all females under the age of 21 be required to display their age on their forehead in an effort to aid people like me who are terrible at guessing ages. Alternately, this could be displayed on their ass instead because sometimes I look there first.

Language Barrier

So how do two people from totally separate countries understand each other when they both speak very bad English but with different accents? I don't know but it's fun to watch. I have no idea what either one is saying. And people say I talk funny......

A Lesson in Common Sense

If you are at an event and everyone in the crowd is sitting down but you, you're blocking someone's view. Duh Huh. And you're a self centered asshole.
Cam Lewis
camlewis@emailtreo.com
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with SprintSpeed

Low Flying Planes

I don't think I'll ever get used to low flying planes. This is daily and kind of freaky.
Cam Lewis
camlewis@emailtreo.com
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with SprintSpeed

Did You Ever?

So did you ever think you would ever get excited about gas for $3.95 a gallon? It dropped below $4 a gallon sometime last week. First time since I moved here.

Habla Espanol

Now that I live in the burbs of a large city and I'm traveling regularly up and down the east coast, I'm beginning to believe I'm the only person who doesn't speak Spanish. Kind of makes me wish I hadn't cheated in Spanish in school. Maybe I'll try to learn it again. I keep seeing these Rosetta Stone adds on TV. Maybe I'll order it.
So I'm sitting in an Italian restaurant in Miami and the bartender and two other people are rambling on in Spanish. I think it's against state law to speak Spanish in an Italian restaurant. I won't tell. The bartender is pretty cute and I'm sure she's telling these other two people how much she'd like me to give her my room key.

Maybe I won't learn Spanish now that I think about it. I'm sure the conversation the bartender is having is much better in my imagination than in real life.

That Family

There is always a family or group of people that stand out went checking in or going through security at the airport. And they always end up on my plane. Dulles is a huge airport and I always check in earlier than most people, so WTF? Today was no exception. This family cut in front of everyone at check in like royalty and then had a six pack of drinks with them they tried to get through security and seemed surprised they couldn't take it on the plane with them. Well duh. No they're sitting beside me at the gate. Yeahaw.

Holly Crap

I just road to the airport in a cab. I think I could have made to Tampa faster in the cab than on the plane. Especially the way my flying luck is.

Possibly the Most Expensive Steak in America

$38.95 and comes with asparagus. WTF! The American Tap Room in Reston, VA. Great selection of beer on tap but steak at that price should come with a happy ending. So how much does a cow cost?

Hooters

When I lived in WV, I only went to Hooters for the wings. That's the truth because the girls there were never really exciting. But since moving to Northern VA, I have to say when I'm in the Hooters in Chantilly, VA, wings aren't the only thing on my mind. That extra bit of boob coming over the top of her shirt can't be healthy. May make me go blind when I get home. :-)

Great Quotes

If your daughter is a stripper, you f***ed up. Chris Rock

Herndon Friday Night Live

I'm at my first Herndon, VA Friday Night Live. It's a free concert out on by the city every Friday night by the city of Herndon. Pretty impressive! Tonight's bad is an 80's cover bad. The lead singer is a freakin hot blond. She making me re-think a career as a groupie. The best part about Friday Night Live is $4 drafts, cheaper than gas. Proceeds benefit the Herndon High Sports Dept. Seems like a good cause to drink too. Cheers.

Cam Lewis

All those umbrellas. Looks like a good place to lose an eye.

It happened here. http://gpsed.com/track/5287624814411320512